Collection Of Funnies
by Strange Blue-Berry Muffin
Summary: My collection of one shot funnies, language warning, blood involved


A pointless, one shot thing that i just wanted to write since i got this idea in my head and i had to write it down. A fighting based action one shot that has Sango kicking our clueless Inuyasha's ass.

I dont own Inuyasha. Or anything else mentioned in this fic.. like a 360. Cant do that worth shit.

It was happening again. He ran off, like a dog to his master, to the dead girl that he loved. Kikyou. Inuyasha ran off to Kikyou after the soul stealers appeared, and it broke her heart. She was tired of it, but she wouldn't run off like Kikyou wanted her to.

Kagome knew that if she did, that would only cause Kikyou to be bursting with pride, and then, she would finally drag Inuyasha into hell with her.

Kagome curled up in her big sleeping bag and tried to cry herself to sleep. when she heard clothes rustling.

Sango had had enough of this. She slipped off her usual traveling kimono to reveal the black slayer outfit that was used for combat. which was what she was preparing for. Now, she knew that her specialty in fighting was against demons, but that didnt mean she hadn't been taught the basic punches and kicks, did it? She'd proved that by the many times she had slapped Miroku for groping her rear.

As much as Sango knew Kagome wouldn't like this, she was going to settle this battle between the two girls over Inuyasha once and for all, whether her friend from the future liked it or not. She was determined to give the dead priestess a piece of her mind, and then some.

Ignoring the shouts and questions of Kagome and Miroku, Sango walked down into the path where she knew Inuyasha and Kikyou would be.

"Kikyou, stay back, it might be a demon!" The half dog demon boy said quietly to Kikyou, the woman he loved..used to love..or maybe he never loved her..?

'_It's not a demon Inuyasha! Don't you ever use your sense of smell?' _Kikyou thought to herself.

"Im not a demon, Inuyasha, don't you ever pay attention to anything besides your vow when Kikyou is around? Like your sense of smell?" Sango's voice errupted out of the tree's. Thats when she attacked. Sango did a flying tackle out from the top of a tree that was behind them, flew threw the air, and did a move that she had seen her father do once. She touched the ground with two hands on Kikyou's shoulders, jumped up, and while she was landing pushed Kikyou down to the ground, then landed on top of her.

She looked fiercly in the black eyes of the clay pot and said in a menacing tone directed at Inuyasha, "You better choose her or Kagome right now, Inuyasha, and if you choose niether, i will kill you myself." Sango knew she couldn't kill him, but she could damn well try.

"Get your hands off of Kikyou!"

"Why? You would go that far? Fine, you made your choice, now for me to punish you." She leapt off of Kikyou, kicked her in the side, did a dash jump towards Inuyasha, and punched him in the face. His face resulted in painful shock as blood dripped from the side of his mouth. Sango kicked him in the knee, avoided his clumsy hand that was trying to grab her, then dashed around behind him and jumped on his back. She grabbed her sword and held it to the tip of his ear. Inuyasha almost let out a whimper as the delicate skin on his ear was nicked.

"Move and the ear is getting a hair cut."

"Why are you doing this, Sango?"

Sango grinned savagly, "You chose niether."

"I did not! I just didn't answer!"

"Enough of your games, Inuyasha" A now recovered Kikyou said, "Just make your desision."

"But..i thought it was clear that i was faithful to you." Inuyasha spoke, his now twitching ear dripping blood.

"Ah fine then, choose the cold clay as your lover. Just remember that if you come running back to Kagome, you will end up dead and i will sell your body to Naraku so he can revive you and make you Kagura's boy toy." With that, Sango cut Inuyasha's ear for the hell of it, glared at Kikyou, and ran off towards the direction of the camp.

Inuyasha fiddled with his haori as Kikyou stared at him then muttered, "I have to go talk to Kagome."

About fifteen minutes later, Kikyou heard Inuyasha screaming, cursing, and yelping in pain. About 5 minutes later she heard Kagome screaming. About 5 more minutes later she heard Naraku laughing. About 10 more minutes later, she heard Kagura giggling in joy. About 1 second later, she heard Inuyasha screaming "KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF, KAGURA! WIND SCA---! WHERE IS MY TETSUGIA!" then heard Sesshoumaru say, on que, "I'll just be leaving now..."

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Hehehe i just had to add the ''about 5 minutes later...' part. Couldn't resist. Hehe review, please tell me what you think!

-Fire-Youkai28


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